Being an old soul in an millennial world can be tough.
What’s even tougher is the idea of dating in a millennial world.
I’ve always thought the idea of it was simple, ya know. you like me, i like you, and all the shit in between didn’t matter.
but boy, does it matter.
last night, i had a guy, who i knew liked me, say to me that he realized he could never date me. not that i really took much thought into it when he said it, but then he proceeded to say, “i just couldn’t date someone who wasn’t ‘this’ or wasn’t ‘that’.” if any of you know me at all, the opinions of others don’t effect my overall being. i’m pretty strong person and what you think of me doesn’t really matter. i mean, the opinion i have of myself is far more valuable than what anyone could ever tell me. i was kind of taken back by what he said though. him saying “we are just too different to make anything work” just blew my fucking mind.
how does someone give up so easily on something they want? throwing up the white flag before giving it a chance. how does someone just let the expectations of others decide who they can and can’t be with? why do we feel the need to appease others?
i’ve been going through things lately as most of you have read. maybe i’m being sensitive to what he had to say but i really believe people worry too damn much what others think. especially all the 20-somethings i’m surrounded by; constantly needing someone’s approval of how we should be living our lives and who we are sharing it with. he said he would wonder about what his parents would think of my tattoos or my socialite mentality would not be okay with them, the fact i enjoy a cold brewski for no reason or better yet, not being able to curse and say what i really felt. i came back with the simple yet bold statement, “while you can still hear and apply your family’s opinion to your thoughts, i wouldn’t be dating them, i’d be dating you.”
he knew he had upset me to some degree and what i failed to tell him was that i wasn’t upset that he thought he could never date me. i’m a datable person. i’m fun, i’m cute and i have a lot to bring to the table. that is completely your loss if you can’t see that. what made me upset was the fact when he was explaining things, he mentioned “you know, i just couldn’t get over certain things you enjoy doing, like going out all the time” and blah blah blah. well, all i can say to that is i’m sorry that i’m not sorry that you feel i’m “too much” for you, kid.
dating and relationships are confusing and messy sometimes. if you try to convince me that yours is all rainbows and butterflies, well i’d have to call bullshit. i mean half the time you’re staring at your phone wondering if they’re gonna return your phone call or text message. for those who have social media, you’re probably wondering why they thought it was okay to post a status/picture but can’t respond if you want chicken or steak for dinner. But when they don’t reply, you have all these awful thoughts about what they could be doing. when in reality, the man is probably just sleeping or better yet, being a dude.
maybe i’m a sensitive person, i mean i don’t think i am too much, but i think lately i have been. i wish i lived in a generation where you didn’t have to play hardball to find out if someone actually gives a shit about you. instead, it’s where you can’t really tell someone how you feel about them because you’re too worried if it’s “too soon” or if you’re being crazy. i’m someone who is a firm believer that you should tell people how you feel, no matter the circumstances. life is entirely too short to not tell someone you like them or better yet, tell someone to fuck off if they’ve made you feel bad.
this is your life. these are your feelings.
so i say this to you my fellow millennials: tell the dude/chick/whoever you like them and worry about the outcome after.
risk the fucking biscuit,
each and every time.
i too have a hard time with this concept but we are continuously worrying if it’s all going to go to shit if you do something risky. but you know, i guarantee one day, you’re gonna look back and be thankful you told that person, who you know is completely wrong for you but can’t resist anyway, that you like them. because you’ll shortly see how they feel, and you know, the losers always weed themselves out.
i said to someone the other day, “i don’t know what will come out of it but life is crazy enough without the little things making it more chaotic.”
and my god, don’t take anyone’s shit.