Today i went to work, just like everyone else on this rainy Monday. The morning shift, which as you’d imagine, is just as dreadful as it sounds. i wanted to believe it would be a good day. A day where a customer didn’t yell at me or a crazy couponer didn’t try to do something shady to my cashiers.
But that didn’t happen.
This morning i was reminded of just how short life is. I had found out that someone i work with had lost someone dear to them, and boy do i know that feeling all too well. I know what you’re thinking “oh, people die everyday.”
While that may be true, it doesn’t change the grief and heartache people feel.
It doesn’t change the emptiness you feel when something funny happens, and they aren’t there.
It doesn’t change the overwhelming feeling you get when people ask “how are you doing?” when you respond with “im okay”, when really, you could burst into tears at any moment.
Stating the obvious that people die all the time helps no one, especially the one in mourning. As the day went on, i was at the front desk thinking of all the cool things that are going to happen soon. My sister and her boyfriend will be welcoming a new baby girl (who doesn’t have a name yet…serious eye roll) and the excitement of moving out of my house. Even one of my best friends just got her own place, and my goddaughter will be turning the big three(seriously can time stop just for a few minutes?). But life as we all know, waits for no one.
Life is so strange and things change in the blink of an eye.
As it became lunch time, i did the typical twenty-something thing and proceeded to check all my social media sites. Snap chat was filled with everyone going back to school or work. Instagram was filled with funny memes and photos of babies (Side note: i love seeing all my friends kids grow, so keep em’ coming). Finally, there was Facebook. Casually strolling through, i see someone i’ve had the pleasure of meeting a few times in life had suddenly passed away in a car accident. i remember seeing all over Facebook just the other day how pumped everyone was to be seeing him perform at EDC orlando. His dreams cut short by circumstance. I couldn’t help but shed a tear. I then thought of that song “hear you me” by Jimmy Eat World. One of the most haunting lines i have ever heard in a song, “A song for a heart so big, God wouldn’t let it live.” His memory/music will live through us forever. I still remember when i met him at one of those ratchet downtown Orlando clubs, while numerous girls were twerking their hearts out, he was focused on the music. I know for myself, EDC will not be the same, but i’m sure many artist will pay tribute as he was a talented soul. RIP Sam, better known as DJ Big Makk.
Death is such an permanent, fucking terrifying concept. I don’t expect people who haven’t lost someone close to them to know exactly how it feels. I do expect people to have compassion for those who are going through hard times and just be an open ear or a shoulder to cry on. I know that is all i needed, and i am forever grateful for those who were there for me through some hard times, even the ones ahead. My gratitude towards you is overflowing. You will always have a friend in me.
When i got home from work, i was preparing for my adult nap. For those of you still reading, i am actually still laughing at that…”adult nap”. Jeeze, what am i? Fifty?! Anyway, i once again was strolling through the morbid Facebook, only to find that Gene Wilder, the legend himself, had passed away at 83. Seriously Facebook? You’re breaking my little fragile heart! The man who was in Blazing Saddles and Willy Wonka was gone. Immediately, i went to tumblr and found a quote from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and posted it. I couldn’t believe that a movie i hold dear to my heart, had lost the main man. His acting helped me come out of a very sad time in my life. I remember thinking of the quote, “We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams.” Such a simple, yet extremely important quote that i will pass on to my future kids. In life, you have to make things happen and go out and grab life by the balls (sorry mom). Willy Wonka was one crazy guy, but those are the best kinds of people. People who know the dark side of life, but continuously look for the paradise side of it all. I was in a dark place at one point in my life, but i remember hearing him sing “Pure Imagination”, and something awoke from within me. I actually have that song on my spotify playlist and sing it, daily.
“If you want to view paradise
Simply look around and view it
Anything you want to, do it
Want to change the world?
There’s nothing to it..”
Seriously? How fucking genius.
Now you’re probably wondering why I labeled this writing “Only the Good die young”. Well, to put it simply, because Billy Joel is a fucking legend and this song i felt was most fitting to explain how death works. I, along with all of my friends, have lost many of our friends and watched many of our heroes go way before their time. I can’t speak for everyone, but i do believe that it has made us appreciate each other more. I can’t remember a time in the past couple of years that i didn’t tell someone i loved them when i was departing from their house or wherever we were.
Don’t be that asshole and think you’re too cool to say it. Scream it to the mountain tops or to the ocean, and tell someone you love them. Nothing haunts you like the words you forgot to say when life got hard. As the old cliche goes, only the good die young and life’s too short to live with regrets. Say it while you still can, ya filthy animals.